The Candid Scouting Report

Aug 02 2010 Published by under [Etc]

"These new digs are tight!" said scientist-engineer Candid Engineer -- who's always saying something -- as she executed squats and lunges in an attempt to warm up her pipetting ligaments this past weekend in the clubhouse of Scientopia's Community Field.

As the blogging trade deadline loomed at Monday morning 6 am EST, Candid Engineer was eager to show off her varied skillz to the scouts that had gathered at the Scientopia training facility in Tampa, FL. And boy, did she put on a pipetting clinic.

CE’s hands and good looks are not the only attributes that make this blogger such a force.  Her liquid dispensing placement is incredible, and together with her ability to switch-pipet on short notice, she can make 24-well plates pay if they are even one centimeter out of position.  Based on her pipetting skills alone, passing on Candid Engineer so close to the trade deadline would be have been a tough decision.

There are only a couple of issues with Candid Engineer’s play.  One is the defensive component of her reagent handling, particularly when she is being audibly assaulted by loud-mouth labmates. A defensive game can be taught and learned, however, and as long as she is not a constant liability at her home bench, it is a characteristic that will fly under the radar.

Scientopia G.M.s Scicurious and MarkCC insist that they traded for Candid Engineer's pipet (she has averaged 100k aliquots in her first 2 seasons with Blogger), not her disposition -- but the latter has been a welcome addition. "Aw, she's the shizzle," MarkCC says. "It's nice to have that come our way, because we're a funky group in there. We can be less-than-candid sometimes, and we need some shaking up. We think CE could potentially be the gal to do it."

At a mere 5 feet 5 inches, some are questioning what exactly Candid Engineer is going to be able to bring to the Scientopia scene. "You know, she might be able to perform serial dilutions with great accuracy, but we're concerned over here about how her vertical dimensions may inhibit her pipetting velocity," said DrugMonkey. "But then again, the endurance may be there. We're just going to have to take a wait and see approach."

The gamble may very well pay off for Scientopia, who acquired Candid Engineer from Blogger without having to trade anything in return. "We couldn't wait to get rid of her," said an official from Blogger, on the condition of anonymity. "Frankly, she's gotten so damn serious over the course of the past year. All she lives and breathes is pipetting anymore. Where is that spunk? Where is the vigor that she used to throw around the laboratory?"

For the time being, Scientopia reports being cautiously optimistic in regards to its low-profile acquisition. According to Scientopia spokeswoman Pascale Lane, "we fully anticipate that with a combination of flexibility training, a diet high in antioxidants, and personality coaching, we'll be able to enjoy the fruits of our Candid Trade for many years to come".

And so, for today, she pipets. Small volumes and large, she acts like nothing has changed, and she goes about her business.

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